As professionals, we are often shown one model of what it is to be “professional” or “executive.” While many of us truly value diversity, the traditional model is built to look and behave within one particular frame – historically straight, cis, white, male, well dressed and coiffed, highly educated, neurotypical, and exhibiting the behavior patterns that are consistent with this. Even when we see diversity, what we often see is people fitting a large percentage of these demographics and mimicking others. Of course, there are exceptions, but despite a wave of pushback, this is still the common perception among those at top leadership levels.

There is also the idea, present in many cultures, that the individual that stands out will be cut down (“tall poppy” syndrome or “the nail that sticks out gets hammered down”) – depending on the cultural context one is raised in, this can be a very strong formative concept especially among women, the neurodivergent, and the highly intelligent.

None of this is new news, so what’s my point?

I have been on a search for a new role. I have listened to advice and received assistance from many quarters and it was not until today that I realized that the advice I was following was threatening my ability to be authentic.

A resume (C.V., whichever your profession requires) needs to be accurate. It needs to bring forward the important accomplishments, list qualifications, facts, figures, and for lack of a better term evidence. Ethical professionals do this as accurately and and honestly as possible. But in doing so it is possible to lose what makes a person exceptional and also what makes them authentic.

I am an empathetic leader. I care deeply. I am female. I am neurodivergent in ways that both challenge me and make me exceptional. I create teams and culture where people want to work and perform and that matters. Yes, I’m good at tech, I understand business needs analysis, I am capable of forecasting (pretty darn well), I creatively work with budgets and contracts and remove blockers. But what I really do is figure out what *people* need to be successful in the context of the environment, and what we together need to do to meet organizational goals. At all levels. And the way that I go about that makes me – and my teams and partners – able to course correct even the most challenging environments, create function out of dysfunction, and weather every storm and crisis, coming out better than we started.

I had allowed my documents to lose my personality and my values. I had allowed my core gifts as a professional to be genericized to fit the expected frame.

And then I received the important question: “I see your EQ in conversation – where is it here?” And it changed my thinking. I will not forget who I am. It makes me special, exceptional. And no, it does not always fit the frame, but that does not detract from me, instead it has enabled my success and enabled me to support the success of others. I will not give this up. And I will reflect it in my documents and everywhere I represent myself.

Professionals are best when they are allowed to be whole people. The best of us is in who we are as humans in the world. Our authenticity is core to who we are, and I cannot lead without it so why would I not reflect it?

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